Rare Candy Treatment Rare Candy Treatment

February 14th, 2012, 11:17 am

Scam Ph.D.

Gather enough work points and they'll even receive a legal trainer license in no time at all!

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February 14th, 2012, 11:36 am

It's your average professor but with much less capital to boast with, so cutting corners to maintain the scientific activity is morally objectionable at best. Although the notion of using 10 year olds as field workers have existed since the dawn of this franchise. A perfect example of how the world of pokémon is a grand joke of its own design.

Another fun fact: The only 'offensive' attack known by Magikarp and Hoppip at Lv 5 is Splash.

Sorry about pushing this update past the 3 week barrier. Although I do have 17 hastily drawn strips in honor of Hourly Comic Day I participated in two weeks ago, so if you feel that you crave for something more, check out my lonely and borderline hazardous life.

Me out.

October 15th, 2019, 9:55 pm

February 14th, 2012, 11:53 am

It would technically be possible to make progress with a pokemon that only knew splash if you keep splashing until you have to use struggle.
Sadly, when I was but wee lass in the 90s, I did participate in a magicarp on magicarp fight. I don't remember how it ended, but it was painful. Oh god. D:

February 14th, 2012, 11:56 am

@Snailcall: Doesn't stop the fishermen from forming their armies of 'karps.

February 14th, 2012, 12:13 pm

I've had experience with both Pokemon.

February 14th, 2012, 1:11 pm


I wonder who could be the fire starter in this case?

February 14th, 2012, 1:16 pm

And the fire starter?

which fire pokemon is useless at lvl 5?

February 14th, 2012, 1:18 pm

Hoppips are awesome! :D

February 14th, 2012, 1:44 pm

I always name my Magikarp "Useless", because, until level 15, it is actually useless. It doesn't learn TMs. And it's first skill, which comes late, is "tackle". Tackle is okay, at best. Once, I had actually raised a magikarp to gyarados. I kept the name. I thought it would be funny to have a gyarados named "Useless". The only move that makes a magikarp worth keeping is "flail", but having a phanpy egg at the beginning of S/G/C makes it obsolete.

February 14th, 2012, 2:16 pm

Now, I want to make three Fakemon that only know Splash or some other useless move that causes no damage.
...Actually that's a great idea. I'm going to do that.

February 14th, 2012, 2:34 pm

Something else I've always wondered: why, in the world of Pokémon, is there only one lead professor per region? Why aren't there trainers from every city heading out on their own journeys? Does everyone seriously travel all the way to your hometown in order to become trainers? Because, considering the areas you can't even access until after you acquire cut, rock break or surf, I see some serious flaws with that idea.

February 14th, 2012, 4:25 pm

that first panel is arranged to beautifully. Just look at that professor's face, and the orange haired child.

February 14th, 2012, 6:37 pm

@ProjectEgax: Well until it gets to level 15, then it learns ember.

February 14th, 2012, 9:13 pm

@Story teller, Astralle: But none of the fail-starters learned anything remotely useful until level 15. So yeah.

February 14th, 2012, 9:14 pm

@Snailcall: I didnt even KNOW about Struggle until now...mostly because im THE most cautious pokemon trainer...EVER
(I LIVE at pokemon centers)

February 14th, 2012, 9:15 pm

@Nico: The game and series is ALWAYS biased towards fire pokemon over the other 2

February 14th, 2012, 9:43 pm

@Derp-de-derp: Hmm, guess that means that all fail pokemon are useless, until level fifteen then depending on how you use them they are somewhat useless or good.

February 14th, 2012, 9:46 pm

@Ramonerdna: Is that why they've gotten the least originality in terms of typing recently o_O

February 14th, 2012, 9:56 pm

Oh jesus, Magikarp as a starter...

February 15th, 2012, 2:59 am

You can breed two magikarp that know flail and tackle, and the offspring will know the moves too.

With that, training it to level 20 wouldn't be a massive problem - and gyarados is epic. So it wouldn't be a bad starter.

February 15th, 2012, 11:38 am

Whatever the Fire starter is, make sure it evolves into a Fire/Fighting!

February 15th, 2012, 1:18 pm


when I first started Firered I didn't want to leave Mt. Moon until I had caught a Clefairy. Well I was still a novice trainer and so I took Clefairy to Lavender Town and into the tower ALONE. Clefairy vs Ghastly eventually becomes a struggle fight. The best part is that I somehow won xD

February 15th, 2012, 1:25 pm

@Bumbazzle: I make a habit of turning them into sushi.

February 16th, 2012, 12:18 pm

@Snailcall: Just try an Onix Rage VS. Ditto Onix Rage. Went so slow I had to turn the game off.

February 16th, 2012, 1:13 pm

Is this what that one guy from Blue's Clues has to fall back on?
If it's not him, then that sweater sure is popular..

February 16th, 2012, 2:25 pm

best starters

@Ramonerdna: not really beacuse you can argue that mudkip was the best starter in gen 3 and bulbasaur was considered the best starter in gen 1 and idk about gen 4/5 cause those gens were bad

February 16th, 2012, 4:15 pm

@stavy: Mudkip was the best starter stats wise and Charmander was also the best starter in gen. 1 because of its stats. In their final forms, Venusaur, Blastoise, Charizard, they had 530, 530 and 534 respectively. The gen. 3 starters, Sceptile, Blaziken and Swampert it was 530, 530 and 535 respectively. In generation 4, all starter's stats were the same as well as in generation 5 but in that gen. their stats were overall weaker than every other starter.

February 16th, 2012, 9:04 pm

Fire option

As far as Fire pokemon, the most fail overall is Slugma for stats, or possibly litwick for early terrible movepool (smog and firespin lol).

February 16th, 2012, 9:32 pm

Fire starters have always been the best UNTIL Gen 5. In Unova, the water starter rules the roost in terms of flexibility of movepool and survivability.

February 16th, 2012, 9:46 pm

"Fear not young one. one day your magikarp will be gyarados until then have fun with your splash attack
the professor "

February 17th, 2012, 2:26 am


I think I'm a little biased, cos I always take the grass starter, but Bulbasaur was so much better than Charmander for the majority of the game. Charizard is arguably better than Venasaur, but it's a pretty close call in my opinion.

February 17th, 2012, 6:18 pm

@Silverix: She could always simply beat other pokemon into submission with it until it evolves...

February 17th, 2012, 11:59 pm

@MaDaZi: HA. That made my night.

February 18th, 2012, 8:59 pm

@Guest: Stats don't define the best starter its the game usage so technically there is no best starter it depends on the trainer

February 19th, 2012, 6:41 am

Woah since when is charmander the best pokemon for the first generation
you're pretty much screwed in gym battles till like the 4th one

February 19th, 2012, 9:46 am

@Ruan: Here's a prime way to avoid that--Train in the grass until he's a major o.p. in your party and, you know, that whole catch 'em all deal.

February 19th, 2012, 12:00 pm


Is it a little odd that the professor here looks kinda like the you in those hourly comics?

February 20th, 2012, 5:54 am

I see what you did there MaDaZi...

February 20th, 2012, 10:14 am

@Vegetable: Heh, figured no one would notice. It wasn't done on purpose, as I aimed for a scruffy and rather general look, but sadly, I'm apparently that by defeault. Ugh.

February 20th, 2012, 11:18 pm

drew barrymore

@ProjectEgax: hahaha and you get a cookie

February 21st, 2012, 5:44 am

Man if that girl leveled up her magikarp to lv20, its easy mode for her afterwads.

February 21st, 2012, 10:13 am

@Bumbazzle: At least you know you can pass for a low budget, pokemon scientist if you ever need to.

February 22nd, 2012, 12:44 am

@smeagol92055: Professer Rowan is not at your hometown

February 24th, 2012, 3:28 am

sucs mina is much bettar

February 27th, 2012, 10:12 am

Pokeversary much?

It's the 16th anniversary of Pokemon! Comic please?

February 28th, 2012, 5:02 pm

I love Hoppip!

February 29th, 2012, 10:42 am

@Ramonerdna: Brock and Misty say hi.

March 4th, 2012, 1:58 am

You can catch a "whatever that hides in tall grass near starting town" with a pokeball and at full health anyway.

March 4th, 2012, 1:46 pm

@ProjectEgax: Flareon is already evolved, you dolt.

March 6th, 2012, 7:25 am

@James: well i usually use metal claw in firered with charmander then get pikachu in viridian forest.

March 18th, 2012, 1:58 pm

@ProjectEgax: yes but it is a eevee evolition

May 11th, 2012, 10:15 pm

@Nico: There is not a single fire pokemon that could be considered useless ;)

August 20th, 2012, 9:04 pm

Extremely late reply, but I just checked and the outcome is funny enough to mention.

The only useless fire pokémon at lvl 5:


Only knows whirlwind.

Imagine getting Ho-oh for a starter, then realizing you won't get past the first trainer you meet. :3